Yes, thank you

I'm ok. I was so happy yesterday, that for a moment I felt sad and abandoned. I dreamt about my past. Well, not about my past, about my ghosts. I dreamt I was in a cafe talking to the main ghost. And he said he loved me and he wanted to touch my skin because he thoght I was a dream. He told me he had made a mistake and asked me if I'd take him back. And I had the chance to tell him "no".

I'm over it, but it makes me think why he appears in my dreams when I'm happy. It was not a happy dream, but it wasn't a nightmare either.

I abandoned him. I left him a really awful letter and abandoned him. But I wasn't to blame. I was patient. I was patient for four years. I waited. And it was my fault, because he didn't ask me to. He was one of those guys who never told me anything, but he didn't let me go. He didn't let me move on. He was like "no strings attached", but he got jealous, and he was so possessive, and I loved it because I thought it was his way to demonstrate what he felt for me.

But he did not feel anything. He used me. And I was such an asshole. I let him use me. It was both our responsibility.

But I'm happy now. I'm happy because I realized my life was so much more than me, than me abandon him, that him abanon me.

I thought it yesterday as I was smoking a cigarette and lloking at the stars and feeling the wind toching my skin. I feel a strange, hope long happiness.

What a great day.

So yes, I'm ok, thank you. How are you???